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document.write("<font face=arial,helvetica size=-1 color=#FF0000><b>Snippets!</b></font>");
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RandomDate = new Date();
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if      (RandomNo < 50)  {document.write(" I am, therefore I think.  Is this putting Descartes before the horse? ");}
else if (RandomNo < 100) {document.write(" Nothing you put in a banana split is as fattening as a spoon. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 150) {document.write(" He that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 200) {document.write(" No two persons ever read the same book. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 250) {document.write(" The fundamental problem of representative government is that the people who would be best for the job least want it, and vice versa. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 300) {document.write(" When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 350) {document.write(" One who farts in church sits in his own pew. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 400) {document.write(" I used to wonder why God made ugly people, then I realized it was so people like me could get a good laugh. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 450) {document.write(" I have a problem with drinking... two hands and only one mouth. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 500) {document.write(" Do I look like a grocery item to you? I see you checking me out. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 550) {document.write(" Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 600) {document.write(" Real Programmers are always surprised when their car odometer doesn't turn immediately from 47777 to 50000. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 650) {document.write(" He who hestitates is sometimes saved. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 700) {document.write(" Middle age is when wherever you go you take a jumper. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 750) {document.write(" Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 800) {document.write(" It is better to live rich than to die rich. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 850) {document.write(" I can't work - they'll take away my welfare check. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 900) {document.write(" The secret of being a bore is to tell everybody. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 950) {document.write(" The only thing wrong with doing nothing is you never know when you're finished. ");}
else                     {document.write(" Happiness is not what you experience but what you remember. ");}
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