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document.write("<font face=arial,helvetica size=-1 color=#FF0000><b>Men Jokes</b></font>");
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document.write("<tr><td valign=top align=center bgcolor=#F5F5DC>");
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RandomDate = new Date();
RandomNo = (RandomDate.getMilliseconds());
if      (RandomNo < 50)  {document.write(" What do a vagina, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Men always miss them. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 100) {document.write(" How can you tell if your husband is dead? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" The sex is the same but you get the remote. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 150) {document.write(" Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a woman? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 200) {document.write(" If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same time, who would reach the ground first? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" The woman ... the man would get lost. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 250) {document.write(" How does a man take a bubble bath? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" He eats beans for dinner. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 300) {document.write(" Why are men so happy? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because ignorance is bliss. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 350) {document.write(" Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because they don't have balls to scratch. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 400) {document.write(" What did God say after creating man? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" I can do better. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 450) {document.write(" Why is food better than men? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 500) {document.write(" Why did God create a man before a women? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" You need a rough draft before you have a final copy. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 550) {document.write(" What's the difference between men and women? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need ... A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 600) {document.write(" What's the best way to kill a man? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 650) {document.write(" What is the difference between men and government bonds? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Bonds mature. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 700) {document.write(" How do you scare a man? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 750) {document.write(" What is a man's idea of helping you with housework? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Lifting his legs so you can vacuum. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 800) {document.write(" Why don't women have men's brains? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because they don't have a penis to keep them in! ");}
else if (RandomNo < 850) {document.write(" How can you tell if a man is happy? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Who cares?~ ");}
else if (RandomNo < 900) {document.write(" Why don't women blink during foreplay? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They don't have time! ");}
else if (RandomNo < 950) {document.write(" Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a woman? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there. ");}
else                     {document.write(" Why were men given larger brains than dogs? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. ");}
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