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document.write("<font face=arial,helvetica size=-1 color=#FF0000><b>Men Jokes</b></font>");
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document.write("<tr><td valign=top align=center bgcolor=#F5F5DC>");
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RandomDate = new Date();
RandomNo = (RandomDate.getMilliseconds());
if      (RandomNo < 50)  {document.write(" What did God say after creating man? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" I can do better. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 100) {document.write(" Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor-lock! ");}
else if (RandomNo < 150) {document.write(" What is a man's idea of foreplay? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" A half hour of begging. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 200) {document.write(" How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" One ... men will screw anything. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 250) {document.write(" Why is food better than men? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 300) {document.write(" Why is food better than men? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 350) {document.write(" Why are men like popcorn? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They satisfy you, but only for a little while. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 400) {document.write(" How are men and parking spaces alike? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write("  The good ones are already taken, and the ones left are handicapped. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 450) {document.write(" What do electric trains and breasts have in common? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They're usually intended for children, but it's the men who end up playing with them. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 500) {document.write(" Why don't men have mid-life crises? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They stay stuck in adolescence. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 550) {document.write(" Why are husbands like lawnmowers? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 600) {document.write(" A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Dating children. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 650) {document.write(" What is the thinnest book in the world? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" What men know about women. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 700) {document.write(" How are men like commercials? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both last about 60 seconds. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 750) {document.write(" Three words women hate to hear when having sex? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" "Honey, I'm home!" ");}
else if (RandomNo < 800) {document.write(" What is the insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" The man. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 850) {document.write(" Why are men like blenders? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" You need one, but you're not quite sure why. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 900) {document.write(" What should you give a man who has everything? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" A woman to show him how to work it. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 950) {document.write(" What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Exchange him. ");}
else                     {document.write(" What is the insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" The man. ");}
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