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document.write("<font face=arial,helvetica size=-1 color=#FF0000><b>Men Jokes</b></font>");
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RandomDate = new Date();
RandomNo = (RandomDate.getMilliseconds());
if      (RandomNo < 50)  {document.write(" How many men does it take to pop popcorn? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 100) {document.write(" Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They like being able to both eat and make love in under 5 minutes. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 150) {document.write(" What do men and pantyhose have in common? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch! ");}
else if (RandomNo < 200) {document.write(" What do men and pantyhose have in common? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch! ");}
else if (RandomNo < 250) {document.write(" Why do so many women fake orgasm? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because so many men fake foreplay. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 300) {document.write(" Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor-lock! ");}
else if (RandomNo < 350) {document.write(" What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" A guy will actually search for a golf ball. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 400) {document.write(" How can you tell when a man is well hung? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 450) {document.write(" Why were men given larger brains than dogs? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 500) {document.write(" Why did God put men on earth? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 550) {document.write(" Why do men like BMW's? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They can spell it. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 600) {document.write(" What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" A guy will actually search for a golf ball. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 650) {document.write(" What is a man's idea of helping you with housework? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Lifting his legs so you can vacuum. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 700) {document.write(" What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 750) {document.write(" What should you give a man who has everything? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" A woman to show him how to work it. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 800) {document.write(" What do a vagina, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Men always miss them. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 850) {document.write(" Why are men like popcorn? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They satisfy you, but only for a little while. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 900) {document.write(" What do a vagina, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Men always miss them. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 950) {document.write(" How are men like commercials? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both last about 60 seconds. ");}
else                     {document.write(" Why do men take showers instead of baths? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Pissing in the bath is disgusting. ");}
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