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document.write("<font face=arial,helvetica size=-1 color=#FF0000><b>Blonde Jokes</b></font>");
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RandomDate = new Date();
RandomNo = (RandomDate.getMilliseconds());
if      (RandomNo < 50)  {document.write(" What do you call a blond mother-in-law? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" An air bag. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 100) {document.write(" What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" A thought. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 150) {document.write(" Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" From crawling across the street when the sign said 'DON'T WALK.'. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 200) {document.write(" What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Branch Manager. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 250) {document.write(" Why do blondes work seven days a week? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 300) {document.write(" What's the mating call of the blonde? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" 'I'm *sooo* drunk!'. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 350) {document.write(" What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Divorcee'. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 400) {document.write(" How did the blonde die drinking milk? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" The cow fell on her. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 450) {document.write(" How did the blonde die ice fishing? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" She was run over by the zamboni machine. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 500) {document.write(" How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 550) {document.write(" What does a blonde say when she gives birth? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Gee, Are you sure it's mine? ");}
else if (RandomNo < 600) {document.write(" How does the Blonde car pool work? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They all meet at work at 7:45. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 650) {document.write(" How can you tell when a blonde is dating? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" By the buckle print on her forehead. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 700) {document.write(" How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 750) {document.write(" Why do blondes drive BMWs? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Because they can spell it. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 800) {document.write(" What do you call a smart blond? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" A golden retriever. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 850) {document.write(" Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" So she wouldn't get Hearing Aids. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 900) {document.write(" Why don't blondes eat Jello? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages. ");}
else if (RandomNo < 950) {document.write(" What did the blonde say to the physicist? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" 'Why, I just love nuclear fission but what do you use for bait?'. ");}
else                     {document.write(" How do you drive a blonde crazy? <br><hr width=75%>");
document.write(" Give her a bag of M and Ms and tell her to alphabetise them. ");}
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